Juan's Bid For Justice

Juan Quentin C. Ward #275760
Racine Correctional Institution
P.O.Box 900/Washington West
Sturtevant, WI 53177-0900

I am a member of FFUP and contributing writer, and have been asked to draft an essay about myself to be included in the next FFUP newsletter. Although many in the echelon of the prison system frown on inmates writings, it is not against the policies of the Department of Correction to write and seek publication of their writing. See DOC 303.32 (1)(b).
First, I'll give you a short background on my case, and
Then I will follow that up with a succinct overview of my struggles in trying to recapture my freedom and innocence of one of the charges I was overzealously charged with and falsely accused of having done by the victim in my case out of revenge or just outright maliciousness.
In the early 1990's I stole from and recklessly endangered the life of an adult female acquaintance (for which today I can truly say that I am very sorry that I done it). I was accused of having touched the victim over her breast and vaginal area over her clothing. I was facing a hundred years in prison, and ultimately convicted and sentenced to three consecutive sentences, twenty years for "armed robbery" although it was not a robbery in the traditional sense where a weapon is brandished and the perpetrator demands possession of the others property. Second Degree Sexual Assault/Contact, and Recklessly Endangering Safety, receiving a ten and five years sentence respectively. Having been forced into a plea agreement after my attorney Dean B. Zemel refused to adequately represent me. And while I was not pleading guilty, I had no choice but to plead "no contest"
especially since the judge refused to allow me to fire this lawyer or go to trial and be found guilty and given a hundred years. As it was clear to me long before sentencing that the Honorable Judge Patricia D. McMahon was bias against me for one, my victim was female, and secondly, a white (Caucasian) woman. Upon sentencing she gave me the maximum amount of time for every charge lodged against me.
In my earlier years I could not see pass my own injustice I'd received at the hands of the victim as well the criminal justice system, believing that, it was the job of the court as well prosecutor to seek out the truth, and clearly the many inconsistent statements made by the victim as to what occurred could not have been the truth. I asked my attorney Dean B. Zemel to give me an polygraph test because I did not sexually assault or touch Ms. F (the victim) in any manner over her clothing, and was told by my attorney the state wouldn't pay for one, and besides polygraphs were inadmissible in a court of law.
After my conviction and sentencing I was sent directly to Dodge Correctional Institution.
The State appointed me counsel for appeal and or postconviction relief, in whereas, he told me that he was of the opinion that my case had "No Merits" to seek an appeal, and because I disagreed with his assessment, I again was placed in the position of having to go without counsel. I have spent the last eighteen years trying to prove that I did not ever touch Ms. F through sexual contact. I have readily accepted my responsibility for the theft, (for it was never a robbery) but theft by person and admittedly I did recklessly endanger the safety of MS. F., and give all due praise to God for not allowing this woman to die at my hands during a state of ignorance.
For more than 18 years I have wondered why? Why would Ms F. lie and exaggerate a crime of a sexual nature was committed against her? Did she automatically resort to the age old practice of accusing a black of sexual assault as many black men has been accused of this crime against white women throughout history especially during the times of Jim Crow laws. But then the same still applies today.
I in no way seek to minimize the seriousness of my crimes against this lady, and has graciously served and paid my debt to society for the undesirable behavior I have committed, and if I could, I would apologize personally to my victim and ask for her forgiveness for that which I did do to her. Same time, I would ask her why? Why perpetuate, and perjure herself with lying about a crime that never happened?
My first parole eligibility date was eight years after I was convicted and sentenced, because the law at that time during my conviction and sentence. At my first PRC I was initially Assessed and Evaluated, I was given a Mental Health, need, AODA assessment, and assessed for sexual offender (SOT) because of the allegation of a sexual nature in my Because of the severity of my offenses, PRC gave me a maximum custody. I spent almost sixteen years in maximum custody seen the parole board for the first time in 2001. They didn’t give me Parole at that time, but a defer of 60 months... five years. Upon seeing them again for the second time I periodically came up I seen the same woman (Hackbarth) gave me 48 month defer, "that's right, four years."
Over the course of my incarceration I participated in Mental health treatment, Anger Management, never since my incarceration has I been accused of using drugs, I have successfully completed a vocational class (Culinary Arts), I have many certificates in re-entry programs, certified LVA Tutor, Health & Wellness, Conflict Resolution attempting to show rehabilitation.
Admittedly, it has been hard for me in the earlier years, because I felt very much a victim myself, first by Ms. F., false lies,secondly by the court unjust sentence, and third by the prison system that has subjected me to pure hell, and has violated every one of my rights at every turn. It all begin in 1994, while at the Columbia Correctional Facility in segregation where I witnessed prisoners being mistreated and having their arms and legs broken by staff, it was a regular thing to see cell entries. I began showing prisoners how to file grievances and complaints against this staff member and as such, I became a target.
November of 94 when Jeffrey Dalhmer had gotten killed the institution had a major lock down and cell search, I was assigned to a single cell, but had a double cell with two mattresses, one for the top bunk and bunk I slept on. A widely known unprofessional guard name Sgt Hinickle was conducting the search. She came in talking disrespectful to inmates whereas by several inmates ensued. This guard accused me of having destroyed one of the mattresses by cutting it and attempting to hide contraband. But the truth of the matter was, I'd just gotten out of segregation, had no property, and couldn't have destroyed the mattress. Yet, I was found guilty by the so called due process committee and charged $141.00 for a mattress that cost less than $10.00 to make.
Rogue racist guards like Brian Martin has tried to hurt me by snatching my legs out from under me while wearing ankle or leg shackles causing my head to bounce off the concrete. Shocked with stun guns for standing up for my rights, and manufaotured and fabricated conduct reports are the norm by guards who know inmates has no avenue of relief from the mistreatment and abuse of staff, they tell you to file complaints knowing that 'the co-workers, former guards will uphold their actions and dismiss any complaint filed against staff abuse.
So for more than eighteen years I have watched staff (guards) subject myself and other inmates to so much abuse till death through suicide seemed to be the only escape. For years I felt an anger burning inside me, and I have to give thinks to Dr. Scott Trip for helping me to see things clear, and to channel my energy not in hate, but in a positive and productive
way. It was Dr. Scott-Tripp, that caused me to look at my crime realistically and see the hurt and pain I caused Ms. F., to try to understand why she would fabricate such a outlandish accusation of my having touched her breast and vaginal area over her clothing. While I see her reasoning, her fabrication of a crime that never happened didn't give justice.
Recently on August 18, 2010, I was called and interviewed by one of the psychologist in charge of the SOT program and although I have been incarcerated for greater than 18 years, and seen numerous times by clinical psychologist and even discussed the crime and nature and aspect of my case, Dr. Finn, stated to me, that he is of the opinion that I should be interviewed for SOT-4 most harsher treatment regiment for sexual offenders.
Citing that the DOC has a new criteria, that I can have the polygraph examination done, which I want to vindicate myself of this preposterous allegation, but he says, in order for me to get the test, I first must confess and admit to having sexual¬ly assaulted my victim. A catch-22 for if I admit to something I did not do, and the polygraph examination comes back showing I did not commit the crime, I am still in a quagmire because they can use my word of having admitted to a crime against me.
As Dr. Finn, already showed me he will try, as he promptly stated you already confessed to the crimes, in which, I
Had to tell him I plead "no contest" which is different from a guilty plea, it means that I am not guilty, but I can not prove; myself not guilty at this point.
I asked Dr. Finn, why was it that after all the psychologists I had seen over the years why was he the only one trying to placed me under the most drastic sexual offender program there is especially since my case does not involve sexual penetration, not a first degree sexual assault crime, not a child victim, no history of sexual deviancy, nor multiple victims to qualify under the criteria for SOT-4.
What Ms. F., didn't know is that I despise any man that forces himself off on a woman or child, that I grew up in a home where dysfunction was the norm, and not only a survivor of mental and physical abuse, but a rape survivor of the justice Because even though Ms. F., was motivated solely on the bitter root of hate and revenge when she made the false allegation: of my having touched her over clothing, I find it strange fascinating that the Court, the Prosecutor, the PSI Investegator, even rny attorney never questioned the inconsistencies of statements like when she said: I asked her if she wanted have sex with me, and she said to me, " you want to use me as a free whore," [Page 5 Police Report] that I stated no, I just want to have sex with you.
She went on to say that about ten minutes after I was there I came and stood in front of her and straddled her and stated that I wanted to "lick her." She stated she said no, because she was on her period. She stated she then started to joke with me and that's what a guy had to do to get into the Hells Angels. And I said I would like to do that, but she stated no. She then stated all of a sudden I grabbed at her breast and she tried to push me off her. [Page 5 Police Report],
Leslie F., went on to say that she must have cut her finger. then I started to grab her between the legs and was saying
I wanted to have sex with her and was trying to get her into the bedroom. [Page 6 Police Report],
On Saturday, 1/15/94 Leslie F., gave a different version of events she stated as far as she can recall I had fondled her breast and vaginal area over her clothing before cutting her hand on the couch. That while I was fondling her, I was
straddled over her. That she remembered before all this happened I had gently kissed her on the forehead. [Page 23 Police Report] That I would come over and ask for a "free fuck" but she, would always say no. Id.
Leslie F., told Detective Nowakowski that I wanted to have oral sex with her, I wanted to "lick her." She told me no she was menstruating, that she remembers going into the bathroom, I followed her in there, she used the toilet and had wiped blood on the tissue from her vaginal area. She states that she then changed the tampon and recalls that I looked into the toilet and observed the bloody tampon. She states, after this occurred, she changed her tampon and had left the bathroom area and went back into the living room and sat down. She stated that I told her it didn't matter to me that she was menstruating, because I liked it, I liked licking a woman who was bleeding. [Pa 24 Police Report],
She told the Presentence Investigative reporter that I another male friend had been pressuring her for sex, that she
informed me that she would call the police if she had to, that I at this time, I straddled her legs and glared, then left her
home with my friend [Page 3 PSI Report] she went on to tell the PSI Reporter that I had asked to use the bathroom and feels that I went into her bedroom cut the phone cord and went use the bathroom, that I returned to the kitchen and stated:
" I am going to sleep with you," "I am going to go down on you” and then, "I want to lick you." " Leslie F., made several inconsistent statements to the detectives, the Presentence Report Investigator, as well during Preliminary Hearing, she further stated that she remember me hitting her in the neck with a knife three times, and told the Judge I had cut her neck from one side to the other, but she did not require stitches as they had band-aids that would cause her to heal leaving no scar. It should also be noted Leslie F. refused all medical attention offered by the medic team.
Keep in mind that I have always requested a polygraph test since day one because it is the only way I could refute
These false allegations, because, it is not like a DNA test could be taken and yet, my attorney denied me this...I have written the District Attorney Mr. John Chisolm asking him in the interest of justice to give me the polygraph test, and it will prove unanimously that I did not touch Leslie F., over her clqthing during the crimes that were committed against her.
Many would probably say he's admitting that he isn't one hundred percent innocent and I am not, and has paid my time for the crimes that I did commit against this person. Initially l also asked that Leslie F., take a polygraph because I wanted her to be charged with perjury for lying about a charge that never took place, but then, I was doing just as she by seeking
revenge. I understand that some of this essay/article may be graphic however, the truth is graphic and uncensored in every sense of the word. I credit my willingness to accept my role in horrendous crime as being repulsive and I do humbly apologize first to my victim, for the betrayal of the friendship and that I stole from her, in taking her possessions, and for recklessly endangering her life. I apologize to her family and loved ones for the trauma, worry and concern I put them through because of my actions that January day.
I apologize to society and my community for the perpetuation of a crime against another human, and apologize to myself for the pain and anguish I have inflicted ignorantly. And ask if anyone is left out there who believe in justice and change via rehabilitation to please help by forwarding me information on a polygraph examiner who is licensed and reputable. I am sure that many who may read this article may find Le F., inconsistencies miniscule, but if one is objective and subjective enough they will see the truth jumping out at the or at least ask themselves why if it was okay to perform sex while menstruating why didn't he do it when she had her pants down? why wouldn't he fondle her underneath the clothes since she had pulled her pants down and used the bathroon he stood over her, why wouldn't he out right sexually assault her when she was naked and exposed? Reasonable minds would these questions.